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Oneliners update. [23 Jan 2007|09:03am]
[ mood | accomplished ]

I haven't touched this in forever, I know. That's because I've been busy writing for things other than what I should be, but that's okay. It's about time I get off my lazy ass and finish something too, but I just can't seem to gain confidence in anything. However! I did manage to get up the creativity to work on the Shadow oneliners... which included me totally redoing a lot of them.

Words in italics are the words I needed to use in the sentences.

Fifty of these? Are you kidding? Why can't I just do nineteen or so and say fuck it.Collapse )

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[23 Sep 2006|04:23pm]
[ mood | aggravated ]

Why is it I have to hate everything I do? Insecurity + Writer = Oh no. It could have something to do with the constant interruptions and distractions I have to deal with, which I can't change unless I want to write at 4-5am. I need a certain amount of concentration that I just don't get to have a lot and I think my writing suffers from it as well. This could have been a very nice day to write, but the moment I contemplate it? Dad cranks up the volume on football. Football. The mother of all fucking distractions.

Man. I need like... my own little house where there are no TVs, phones, or any way to reach me at all. That's what I need.

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Oh how I neglect you so. [19 Sep 2006|05:25am]
[ mood | accomplished ]

After a very long bout of intense writer's, artist's and crafter's block I've had a sudden surge in creativity. Unfortunately this creativity is not going in to the projects I've already started, but beggar's can't be choosers. Fortunately this project seems like it might actually get finished in a timely fashion, unlike some of my others.

Title: Flame Out
Series: Pre-Kingdom Hearts 2, possibly pre-CoM?
Draft: Third.
Summary: Axel wakes to find himself in a world that is not his own and although his wildest dreams have been realized, they have their price.
Completion: 50%

Life was a million little instances of existence wherein Axel had a home and a name.Collapse )

Other than that I've only been tinkering a little here and there with different projects I've got going. I need to set aside time for Devil's Limbo again as I'm nearly done with the first chapter anyway. I've learned that with stories that actually have chapters, you have to be extremely careful with pacing and storyline though. So I think I can forgive myself for being a bit tentative with it.

Another one I've picked back up after a despicable pause would be my Saiyuki project centering around Sha Gojyo's family. I'm kind of fascinated by my own ideas on how the story'll progress because it'll be from several different points of view. The points of view I want to develop are Mother, Father, Brother (Jien), Child (little!Gojyo) and Man (adult!Gojyo.) Not necessarily in that order, however Mother will come first.

Here's the beginning paragraphs of the first chapter, 'Mother'Collapse )

Honestly, I need to set up an actual webspace for storing these things. In fact, I should put that on my to-do-list right now...

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Random. [24 Jul 2006|03:07pm]
[ mood | amused ]

Oohh, I've been a bad writer as of late. I haven't written a word for anything in a while; I should pick something I have inspiration for and go with it. But what?

I should be doing something!

... I'll do something later.

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Devil's Limbo update. [09 Jul 2006|10:15am]
[ mood | creative ]

Inspiration lost, inspiration found. Turns out that my inability to continue at the point where I'd stopped was just me trying to work around the dialogue. I have a tendency to do that a lot and now I'm not sure why, the dialogue turned out great. Certainly better than I expected, but I'm not going to get cocky now.

The wordcount now stands at a solid 1725 and I expect the chapter will top out around 2-3k. Pretty cool, huh? I'm not sure where my inspiration for this thing came from, but I'm not complaining. It's been a long time since I've had inspiration enough for something other than a little piss-ant oneshot.

I'm feeling pretty good about the general flow of it. Especially since I switched some things around to make more sense (flashbacks are beautiful that way.) All in all? I'm feeling confident and that's what's important.

In other news, I've gotten four great reviews on Ephemera. Considering it was the first oneshot I've finished (and not at all my best, in my opinion), that's quite flattering. They didn't come up with any problems I hadn't already anticipated and there was only one typo we'd missed. Not bad, not bad.

Now I only wished I had more finished Final Fantasy works to place there. Hopefully the first chapter of DL will be ready to put up soon.

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Devil's Limbo update. [26 Jun 2006|07:46am]
[ mood | accomplished ]

I've managed to fill in the required dialogue scenes to further the original conversation and that landed me at a solid 1k+ thus far. I'm not certain that the dialogue actually came out the way I had originally intended, but I think I like it for now. I decided around halfway into Chapter 1, Part B that I simply didn't want to give away what exactly was going to happen through a narrative. I wanted to leave in some guess-work until the second chapter, which pretty much nullified half of what I thought I was going to do with the two.

It's no big deal.

I am having some trouble with two paragraphs between the narratives. They're simply not big enough to where the sudden change in scene isn't abrupt. I wasn't altogether pleased with the first of the two though, so I may tinker around with it to make it a bit lengthier to better fit the kind of format I want.

This chapter'll be about as fast-paced as it is slow-paced, oddly enough. Hopefully that'll strike a good balance between boring and too jerky.

As for my other projects, they're pretty much on the backburner for now. Why? Because I can only retain so many things I want to accomplish in just one of them. Thankfully, mercifully, I've taken notes on what I'm going to be doing with Inheritance. That shouldn't be a problem at all.

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Beginners dilemma. [25 Jun 2006|07:12am]
[ mood | frustrated ]

I've spent half the night attempting to find a good community to post Ephemera on and I just can't seem to find a single one I'm pleased enough with. The popular Final Fantasy communities offer no constructive criticism, but yet it would stand the most chance of being read. On the other hand you have the ones where the maintainers seem intelligent enough... but when looking at the members, it's pathetic.

Supposedly, you can't have both.

I'd be lying if I said that I wasn't a little frustrated by it all, considering that I would like to write things that people would want to read and enjoy. It's a little difficult to do that without proper feedback, which I find that I desperately need in my beginning stages. Is it so wrong to want to know that people other than close friends would appreciate it?

Frustration. How I haven't missed you.

I have a bad feeling that I'm going to be winging it by myself in this department as well, but I'll take my confidence where I can get it. I'll figure something out. I will.

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Devil's Limbo progress. [24 Jun 2006|06:33am]
[ mood | accomplished ]

I've managed to eek out two hundred or so words for Chapter 1, Part B and I'm pretty happy about that. Except that I've decided to completely ignore all dialogue or backstory events until it's finished. I need a structure to work with before I start jerking back and forth and just generally lose my mind. Right now it's kind of like a shell that I need to fill in with events that've already happened.

So far I'm fairly happy with how it's turning out. Events are disjointed in the way that I'm most comfortable with, but they're not without their own reasoning (and this time it's a discernable difference.) This thing is going to jerk back and forth like nobody's busines, but hopefully it'll be poignant and conducive to a storyline that doesn't take forever to get off.

This isn't supposed to be an epic kind of exploration of the man's life, I'm just filling in the important parts. But I do have somewhat of a dilemma on how I'm going to end the damn thing. With the way it's going on my head thus far, it's going to be tricky enough as it is just getting him to Thamasa at all... much less detailing how he came to be enamoured with Strago Magus' daughter.

I think this is only a dilemma because I'm going to be focusing on Baram and subsequently Clyde's own downward spiral. It just doesn't have a place, which means I'd better end it abruptly in Thamasa. I've never been good at romance anyway, but a companion story might follow. Might, maybe. Possibly just a oneshot or two.

I think this could also be because everyone pretty much knows what happens after he gets to Thamasa and that's even trickier to write. Either way, I think this has great potential.

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Rambling, updated pending list. [18 Jun 2006|03:09am]
[ mood | accomplished ]

Devil's Limbo is practically writing itself at this rate, though I lost steam somewhere around 2:45am, but my sleepiness could easily be blamed for that. Six-hundred and eighty-eight words in one sitting isn't bad and I hope for the first chapter to be done sometime this week when I get the time. Hopefully dad will beta it, but I'm hesitant to do that because the end of this chapter is going to be naughty. Not in a graphic biological standpoint of sex way, but naughty nonetheless.

I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place though because on one hand you have the sister figure that's significantly squeamish of that kind of thing and... your dad. I think I might go fishing for a beta, but that just seems equally disastrous. I've never been good at asking total strangers to help me and I think you'd really need to know me to understand what I'm trying to do. So in other words, I either need a new friend or I need to get over my sick need for privacy on these matters.

Or I need to get better at writing to where I can pass with only slightly incorrect grammar.

Updated list.Collapse )

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Things to do. [14 Jun 2006|01:49am]
[ mood | busy ]

Just trying to keep things in order here, so I'm going to go ahead and list some things I'm working on in here so I don't (can't) forget.

Long list of pending.Collapse )

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More rambling, unfortunately. [24 May 2006|07:13am]
[ mood | accomplished ]

I love how my dad can easily pick out what exactly is wrong with a particular sentence or paragraph. It just seems like he knows exactly how to tell me what's wrong with something and that's invaluable to my writing. I think the worst part of critique from people you don't know is the lingering question of, "What does that mean? How do I apply something I don't understand to my writing?"

With my dad as my editor, he can isolate the problematic words and simply tell me. That's the kind of critique that I need in order to get better. In other words, if you don't know why a sentence or a paragraph doesn't work... how am I supposed to?

Since I've shown him my 50 Oneliners challenge progress, I think he's decided that I'm getting better and I think so too. Aside from a fair amount of 'that' attacks and sometimes odd sentence structure, most of the sentences were left untouched. That's almost always a good sign and it definitely makes me feel a lot better about it as a whole.

I would put up the revisions in this post if I could.. find the second page of the papers he wrote on, but I can't seem to find it anywhere. I guess I should take the fact that I found the first page on the floor as a hint and start searching lower.

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Oneliner Challenge. [19 May 2006|06:52am]
[ mood | accomplished ]

The challenge was to do fifty sentences with the numbered words and I thought it might help me with my writer's block.

Here's the first batch.Collapse )

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More rambling. [19 May 2006|03:34am]
[ mood | annoyed ]

Well, my writing has been going horrendously badly lately. I can't seem to crank out a line that I don't automatically hate or doesn't seem awkward and not what I was trying to convey. This could have something to do with my own confusion, but it's really starting to impede on things I'm trying to do now. What kills me is that I was so confident before but now all that seems to have gotten flushed away. Hmn, hmn...

Maybe I can finish this writing exercise project I've been working on for Shadow from FFVI. I found it interesting and fairly easy for someone with a history of writer's block. They're oneliners, basically. One sentence each word. Maybe I'll save them and use them sometime? Who knows. But either way, they'll be posted here as I go I think.

This poor journal, less writing and more rambling about writing. I'll try to remedy this if only for my own sanity sometime this month. I feel like such a lazy-ass.

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miscellaneous rambling. [07 May 2006|08:17am]
[ mood | annoyed ]

I've noticed that livejournal has changed things and I don't respond well to change. Thankfully it's nothing that throws my groove off, but honestly now...

While perusing a couple fanfiction archives, I began to realize that I'd forgotten how terribly yaoi driven Saiyuki fanfiction tends to be. This was most evident in the fact that I must have seen m/m roughly a thousand times and only two general stories. One for each archive. I don't think I've ever disliked yaoi quite so much as I do when I try to find a story that is not like every other story on the same set of characters.

It makes me want to renew my interest in the set of oneshots on Gojyo, something that got swept to the side due to other demands and interests. I think I may take it up again if only to be different, which is somewhat sad for inspiration and determination, but you take it wherever you can get it.

Remember people, everytime you write a yaoi story about Gojyo and Hakkai that is exactly the same as every other story about the two a puppy dies.

On a semi-related note: why can't we all just be friends?

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GRRR, aaarrgh. [07 Apr 2006|04:55pm]
[ mood | annoyed ]

I really shouldn't be contemplating my next work when A Subtle Fire isn't even close to being finished. I shouldn't, seriously, I have two sink fulls of dirty dishes and a boatload of other things to do. Not listening, mm-mm. Nope. I can't hear you.

Perhaps I should just get the dishes over with so I'm not in a panic and can spend my days of solitude more freely. After all, how many days out of the week do I get all to myself anyway? Ahhhh, too many ideas and too few words to spare for all of them. I have to be stern with myself, I see this now. Unfortunately, I can't stand to look at any of them right now I don't think. I dare not touch it until my inner critic is sleeping or I might mangle what I have of it.

Dilemma, dilemma. Well, now that I've seen some of Saiyuki Reload I'm tempted to do something else with it. I swear, that fandom needs ideas badly. That's what I do, right? Take the norm and spin it around and hope I make someone's day. But first, it has to be Koko. Focus, focus!

... 'Can't hear you.

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A Subtle Fire revision. [01 Apr 2006|12:09pm]
[ mood | busy ]

I've decided to name the trade-off work A Subtle Fire due to two very prominent elements in the story, but I somehow doubt anyone'd really grasp the significance. We'll see.

I've revised it a little bit to try to combat my vagueness and comma abuse problems and I've also been using paragraphs more often. This displeases me slightly because some paragraphs are very small and I like my paragraphs to be fairly large so that the smaller paragraphs serve more as a poignant after thought. Ahhh, oh well. I can only hope they look better on the eyes out of wordpad, right?

My inspiration for it has died lately though, which is horrible, but I've found I have an endless supply elsewhere. The ideas just won't let me go either so I may as well start working on it, no? I hate it when I'm beginning a story only to find my inspiration being sucked into the vortex of a whole different fandom, but it happens. I feel terrible for delaying its progress any more than I have to though.

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Revised Ephemera. [29 Mar 2006|08:42pm]
[ mood | accomplished ]

Strangely enough, this one turned out far better than Heliac due to the opposing genders. My main problems with Heliac were...

01. I relied too much on the fandom's knowledge and understanding to the point that a stranger couldn't distinguish who said or did what.
02. Minor, but common comma abuse.
03. Very minor reworking of specific sentences.

But my problems with Ephemera shifted entirely...

01. There were major changes to many of the sentences in one paragraph in particular. They were so inadequate in meaning that we spent an entire hour on them.
02. Comma abuse ahoy! Mostly due to the fact that everytime I pause to think I have a tendency to place a comma.
03. One very small fandom-related issue, but other than that? Nada.

Weird, no? I thought so. The comma abuse needs the most attention as well as the fandom-related things.

The (hopefully) final revision of Ephemera.Collapse )

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Heliac revision nine-hundred and ninety-nine... [28 Mar 2006|09:17am]
[ mood | accomplished ]

... only this time I actually like it.

Same shit, different day. See how many changes you can spot in one sitting.Collapse )

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Heliac revision, small detail. [27 Mar 2006|07:37am]
[ mood | groggy ]

I felt the need to change the last line of the Heliac story, if only because I thought it too formal for Goku without physical indicators. Nothing else has changed about the story, but I thought that I should place it here anyway for revision's sake. I think I like it more now, because the end line was bugging me to no end, to the point that I woke up thinking I need to change it.

'Sanzo?' a pause, silence. 'Why don't you make a boat?'Collapse )

Other than that, the progression of Untitled Setzer + Locke is going well, I think. I let Koko preview what I had so far because it's going to be far longer than most of my works, and she said she thought the flow was a-okay. That's quite comforting, considering that it's more for her than anyone else. Not to say that I won't agonize over it like I normally do, but it's a good sign when the one you're writing it for likes it. I desperately need a title for it though, and it's something I'll need to think on because I think my titles are getting a bit boring.

I've noticed that I keep wanting simplicity for dialogue though, like in this book I've been reading, but the formats for books and fanfiction are quite different. Also, simplicity seems like it would clash with the other paragraphs, so I'm just trying to find a good style niche now. One that I feel comfortable with, is neat, flows, and... well, makes sense. Sometimes I think I'm too longwinded in the dialogue paragraphs, but if I'm not, the paragraphs deteriorate into he said, she said. I don't think I'm entirely comfortable with that.

Also, I need to find communities where I can post my stories and, hopefully, somewhere popular enough that people will read them.

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Good news, bad news. [18 Mar 2006|07:30am]
[ mood | creative ]

Well, I'm quite pleased with myself after having spent three hours working on the (untitled as of yet) Setzer and Locke story. Things are going much more smoothly since I gutted the middle out of it due to unnecessary explaining. It's pretty PWP, but I did set it post-FF6 events so that the readers were given some kind of timeframe to work with, and I also spent a good amount of time describing the enviroment. I like that it has no explanation, but it isn't floating in some kind of limbo either. I think semi-limbo moments are my thing right now, and I should stick with them for a while.

The dialogue is slow going, as expected, because I want to be very careful with it. I want to differentiate the two as they should be, and also take the time to describe them properly. Dialogue is one thing, but one also has to be able to imagine what's going on as they talk too. As long as I keep that in mind and take my time with it, it should turn out to be something I'm at the very least okay with. It'll be a slow going process though, because I have roughly five billion other things to do at the same time.

It's around 800+ words at the moment, but the bad news is that the dialogue has just barely been reached, which'll most likely make for my largest oneshot story in a while. Hopefully it'll be worth the read.

For future projects, I've been thinking of doing something with Shadow because I never have seen a story for him that I was completely happy with. Ultimately, I think that'll really be goal with writing for now because it's always been my motivation. I do what I think isn't done nearly enough, and hopefully what everyone has been dying to see and read. Truly, it gets boring when one character gets all the attention or clichés are done so many times over you can hardly find anything different. I'll probably write for Saiyuki and some aspects of FF the most, but I'll most likely branch out to other things as I go along too, I think.

I've been told that there isn't enough witty banter, and for my next dialogue challenge I should try to do that, but I'm in the process of maybe melding it into this one I'm working on now. I'm not sure, I generally run on autopilot with these things anymore, so it could turn out totally different by the time I'm finished.

Note to self, work on a title for this work, please? It's a bit sad to keep referring to it as the Setzer and Locke story, and you have a bad habit of doing the title last. Change this for your own sake and sanity.

EDIT: Oh, and I've been thinking about posting my stories up on the con_crit community for feedback. Still considering it, but I'll have to choke down the cold sense of dread that there might be something I've missed with my fine comb. Or that my style is monotonous and boring, or my analogies and metaphors suck, or my tendency to use words over again strikes again, or they didn't understand crucial parts of the story because of how I worded it, or...

Ahhhh, I'm leaning towards doing it anyway for the feedback alone, but stepping outside the comfort zone is a bit intimidating.

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